Oh, I can't believe I have not blogged since sunday... well I can as I feel like my MOJO did a runner again.... but have coloured a few images (not 100% happy) but will try and make some cards in the next few days.... although tomorrow I am going to a Craft Expo with my sister and a friend and my sisters friend flatmate. whoo! And on Friday my friend B is coming over for some colouring/ cardmaking! YAY! Sometime before that I need to finish off a Stamp Spot card! :D
A couple from church had a baby girl recently and so on Sat I made this card for them... the stamp is from Hanna Stamps and coloured with copic markers.
Warning: Personal (sad) post (rambling) follows.....
Speaking of babies, you might remember that we were doing IVF recently and I was having the pregnancy test last week... well I have not mentioned it again as it's been a tough week and a bit for me... and too hard to put into words... last weekend I had a lot of bleeding and thought it was all over, however I did a pregnancy test and it came back positive so my hopes were heightened... I had the early test on Monday and it was positive too.... so we did get rather excited and hopeful - but as the numbers were low I was told to have a retest on Friday... it was a fairly hard week waiting and I did more Home tests which started to get fainter so I "knew" that things were not looking good.... Friday's test came back negative and it turned out that the bleeding was an early miscarriage! :( I was really gutted (and still am) and am writing it here as I am too good at keeping it all shut up inside me.
I really thought that this time was going to be different and that we were going to be parents... but it's not to be right now! It's hard... I Trust in God and know that he is in control of all things but I just don't understand this. I do know that he will give us strength to get through this and on with our lives.
What makes me the saddest is that we were 'parents' for a couple of weeks... we heard about the embryos progress from day 1--> day 5 and we got to see a our little embryo on TV the day of transfer and have a picture of our 'little blob'... and yet we will never get to meet this little one (or the other two little embryos last year)... I know some people might think this silly but these were precious little lives that are no longer. I'll never get to hold them in my arms, or see them grow up.
I have the strongest desire to be a mum and am coming to terms with the fact that perhaps that is not to be... I guess this is why I spend sooo much time crafting... it's my therapy!
Anyway if you got through that thanks for reading and listening to me blab on!
(hugs)
Oh Sammi, I am so sorry this has happen.. I am going to send you back some of that sunshine you sent to me.. also the BIGGEST CYBER HUG.. Take Care, Bec xx
ReplyDeleteHi Sammi, cute card! I have been thinking of you, just keep your chin up an don't give up, I'm sure you will be parents one day. And you have 3 little Angels watching over you. I have, as I have told you, lost 2 myself, an it hurts even when we have only carried them for a short time, I believe that one day I will get to meet my 2 little babies.
ReplyDeletesending the biggest hugs to you.
Sue xxx
Very cute card, Sammi!
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry to hear that, Sammi! Everything happened for a reason, Sammi. Maybe you guys are not meant to be right now but there will be a time. Have faith, don't give up! There is a right time for everything. God has plans for everyone.
oh sammi sending you so many hugs ~i cannot imagine how you and your husband are feeling right now ~everything happens for a reason ~i have been blessed with two lovey boys but with that they both have special needs and every day is hard, heartbreaking and i think "why me?".
ReplyDeleteyour time will come, god had plans for us all.
amazing card (must have been hard to make,for you)~ crafting is the greatest therapy ~ you have a talent, let everyone see it
vanessa xx
Hi Sammi, Not very good with words, but here goes, having not been in this position I can only imagine what you are both feeling at this moment! Time is a great healer and I am sure you will get your wish one day to be a mum and dad and hold a precious bundle in your arms. Sending you Huge Cyber Hugs. Such a beautiful card you have made at such a difficult time, well done!!! Keep up your crafting therapy! You have me rambling now lol! Take CareX:)
ReplyDeleteOh Sammi, I am so so sorry! I was really really hoping that no news was good news when you did not mention anything last week. I really wish there were something I could say to cheer you up a little or make it better. Instead I will just have to send you BIG HUGS and let you know I am here for you if you ever need to talk *HUG**HUG*
ReplyDeleteSorry, mouse is playing up and double on me
ReplyDeleteOh Sammi!
ReplyDeleteI am so so so sorry to hear. Am thinking of you and your hubby. You have every right to feel the way you do and I'm just so sorry.
Hugs to you
Oh Sammi,I am so sorry,I have been wondering how you are doing.Just hang in there and it doesn't sound silly at all,it is heartwrenching and I feel for you both.Take care of yourselves.BTW love your sweet card and you are such a special person for making it.
ReplyDeleteHuge Hugs xx
Sammi, im so sorry for what you are going through right now. Im not sre what Gods plan is but rest assure he has one!
ReplyDeleteIm suere one day you will be a mommy and a fine one at that
love tasha xx
Hey sweet girl!!! Remember how long I told you it took me - but we got there in the end and I have every wish you do too! I know what it's like to want something soo much and feel it may be out of reach! But you got a bit closer this time - hopefully next time you'll make it to the finish line!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd you seem like me - I always found sharing the pain when it was unsuccessful helped me to pick myself up quicker and try again!
You know where I am if you want more funny IVF stories - LOL
xXx
Sammi, sending you so much love! The right angel that is meant for you and your husband will one day come along and until then you have to keep your spirits up....I know that is probably no consolation....but my thoughts are with you! lol mandi xxx
ReplyDeleteHey Sammi
ReplyDeleteHugest hugs to you darling girl! I know it hurts lot, even when you haven't had the opportunity to meet and get to know them. You're in my thoughts and prayers and I'll be giving you a huge hug in person tomorrow!!
xxx
So sad for you. So sad for me. We are sad for each other. Love you a tonne!! And thanks for being my friend - it's a very special thing. I just don't get it... xxx
ReplyDeleteOh Sammi, I'm so sorry. Your right though the good Lord is the blessed controller of ALL things. My DD had several miscarriages. She now has 3 children! The last one was a total surprise.... but a welcomed one! Keep your faith!Oh and your card is just as cute as can be!
ReplyDelete~Hugs~
Patti
Oh Sammi I am sooooo sorry. There are no words that anyone can say to help you right now. The only thing that can help is to know that the good Lord is with you and loves you. I pray that he will give you peace in your heart and please don't give up hope. The Bible says to "Pray without Ceasing". Keep Him close to your heart and know that he listens and loves you!!!! Big hugs girlfriend!!!
ReplyDeleteSuper cute!
ReplyDeleteSending you & Guy massive hugs and keeping you in my thoughts. xxx
ReplyDeleteSammi, I am so sorry this was not better news for you & Guy. my thoughts are with you both. take care of each other,
ReplyDeletehugs & love teen xxx
Oh, sweet Sammi, I'm so sorry to hear this. My heart is broken for you. I'm so glad you have your faith because that's really the only peace there is in something like this. I shall add you to my prayers. I'm adopted, and so is my sister Kim. Then my parents had two children of their own against all odds... and I do mean odds, because this was like 46 years ago (I'm terrible to keep forgetting my sister's age!). Perhaps adoption is an option for you? Perhaps not. No matter, if you cling to God's promises, you will be okay... everything will be just as it should be, revealed to you in the fullness of time.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Lisa
Oh Sammi, I'm so sorry your news was not much happier. I am thinking of you both and praying that your dreams of parenthood come true very, very soon.
ReplyDeleteHugs, Kelly
Sammi my angel, I haven't been to visit for a while, so sorry! My mojo is just not with me right now and I've been spending way too much time blogging and crafting which has interfered with my "quiet time with God"... so I need to refocus and spend more time with Him! I am so sorry to hear about your sad story, but pray that in God's own timing you and your dear hubby will become parents... just have faith dear and keep on praying. Sending you lots of love and hugs across the miles, Sharon xxxx Psalm 34:18
ReplyDeleteSammi, I read this yesterday and didn't know what to say ...I am sorry you hurt and I so wish that you didn't. Lots of love and hugs from me XXX
ReplyDeleteSending you a huge hug. I know it hard when your hopes are so high. Don't dwell on what might have been, God would not want that.
ReplyDeleteYou will be a mother it will happen but when your not ready (it often does).
Lots of love
Amanda
Oh my goodness - you poor darling. I know it must be terribly hard for you at the moment, but it is going to happen for you. For some reason, you are being tested in the most horrible way first. Someone must think you have the strength. Amanda is right though, it does happen when you least expect it. Don't worry - I did not believe that either!!! Just trust it will happen one day. I have my fingers crossed for you that it is sooner rather than later.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you and your hubby.
Kylie